Like a weed.

Restaurant Rage

Well, I'm not happy to admit it... but they finally grew on me. Like a weed. Stubborn, and persistent. The conditions for growth were not present... yet steady and true, they pushed up through the hard earthy layer of my distaste for them.

Who am I talking about? Family De Freak Show! I know, I know... after all that bitching about them right? Well, the fact is that they are regulars and I see them all the time. The more that they got to know me, the friendlier they became. For me, it's kind of hard to hate people when being greeted with warmth, smiles, and friendly inquiries into my personal life.

Don't get me wrong... they are still as high maintenance as they ever were. It still bothers the hell out of me that the guy doesn't remember his choice of side, he eats there often enough! The kids are still rude at times, but I have to admit are getting better.

I think the old stigma about the first impression is completely wrong in this case. They had several negative impressions with me at first, and I hated them. Over time, they broke me. It honestly makes me wonder if it is possible for me to actually want to wait on them eventually.

Thank You Guys!

On another note... Recently, I have received some very nice comments. From readers telling me they enjoy the blog and for me to keep writing. I really appreciate the feedback, and really appreciate people taking time out of their busy lives to read my bitchy posts! So, thank you all once again for reading! I blog to vent... I blog for you!

"Warm Flashes"

On Vacation!

Alright, so I've been out of town for a while. I went on vacation ("holiday" for you Brits) this last week. While we were there, we of course ate out a lot. The experiences were mixed.

I should explain, that when I go out to eat at a restaurant, I always read the menu. I don't like to ask a bunch of unnecessary questions. I also don't like to be that guy... you guys know what I'm talking about.

I should also say that I when I eat out... I'm not going with the intention of judging my server. I'm not the guy who walks in with a dry erase board and pen looking to give a 1-10 rating. I actually try not to do that... but you can't help but notice things, you know?

Anyway, the first place we ate dinner was a chain seafood place. Total tourist trap, but I was ok with that. The group I was with wanted to go there, and I was alright with it. I try and stay laid back and kind of just go with the flow, you know?

Our server was a 20-30 something lady. She was nice, but rather short in speaking to all of us. She had a very laid back waiting style. Very causal. A little frumpy, but this place was not white shirt/ black tie. So no worries. Overall, it was pretty good for what it was.

The next server that comes to mind was awesome! A guy in his late 20's or early 30's. He worked at a small coastal brew pub. The atmosphere was great, and he was totally cool after I mentioned that I was also a waiter (which came up after his surprise at my macro brew knowledge and questions). He recommended some awesome stuff for the group and was way cool. This was by far my favorite restaurant experience on this trip. The menu was also amazing at this establishment.

The place we dined next was a seafood/Italian cuisine joint. It looked like a little mom & pop joint, made from a converted house. Our waitress here had a bit of Restaurant Rage for sure. She had to repeat herself a couple of times and point to the menu (due to a few in my group who weren't paying attention). This place wasn't the best service, but thank God for their Chef (or kitchen staff). The food they put out made up for the snotty server. My guess... lots of tourists that day or she just simply needed to get some (possibly both).


The last place we stopped today, took the cake. We were eating breakfast due to the fact that we were leaving town and needed to get home by the early afternoon. She greeted us in a quirky manner. That's pretty admissible in my book, since it takes a special type of person to work in this industry. She must have been in her 50's or so, but looked at least 10 years younger. The reason I assume this, is because she walked by, grabbed her shirt just below the neck, and did that fanning motion people do when they are hot. She looked at us and said "Sorry, Warm Flashes." Then rolled her eyes up and stuck out her tongue. Confused, we all kind of shot each other the "what the f*ck?" look that comes without words. She awkwardly wait on us for the rest of the meal, and add "Whew... warm flash," here and there. It got to the point of being very annoying mixed with some super weirdness. We still tipped well, and left as soon as we could.

Still Mooing

Restaurant

Last night, I'm waiting. I'm in the first section to get phased, so my mentality is to get in and get out. About three hours into my shift, I can feel that restaurant is within a half an hour or so of clearing out. At this point, I'm doing everything I can to keep my tables moving.

I approach my next table. I greet them, and things are off and rolling smoothly. I grab a quick drink order and run off. Upon returning with their drink order, I drop the drinks and then I begin to take their food order.

I take one guy's order, move on to the little girl, and then I come to the lady. Here is where we come to a little hick-up. I'm a little cautious, but not entirely concerned as we continue:

Me: "...and what can I get for you ma'am?"

Her: "I'll have the top sirloin."

She starts to pick her conversation with her friend.

Me: "How would you like that prepared?"

Her: (realizing she isn't finished ordering yet) "Oh, um...."

(Her party and I wait with bated breath)

Her: "I'll.... I think, I'll have it rare."

Me: "Are you sure? Our rare is RARE."

Her husband: (interjecting and addressing her)"Medium rare..."

Her: No, I like it rare.

Me: "Our rare still has blood, is that ok?"

Her: "Yeah, I like it bloody. That's fine, thanks."

A little weary, but not completely concerned, I finish the rest of the table's order. The steak lady wasn't all prissy and high maintenance looking. The lady looked like a seasoned meat eater, so I trusted that she knew what she was doing.

I continue with my let's-get-the-hell-out-of-here waiting frenzy. I swing by the expo window about 20 minutes later and that table's food is up. I run it out, drop it off, everyone looks happy and I move on to my side work. After a few minutes of side work, I return to the floor to check on my tables.

Me: "How is every one's dinner?"

The table: "Good." "Fine" "Mmmm..."

The steak lady and I make eye contact. I can tell she has something to say.

Me: "Ma'am how is the steak?"

Her: "It's pretty rare..."

(Really?! Didn't we just have a full four minute exchange about this?)
Me: "You asked for a rare sirloin..."

Her: (giving a half hearted surrender) "Yeah... can you guys throw it back on the grill for a moment?"

(Seeing as she had already picked it completely apart and touched all of it... we have a few sanitation rules you know?)

Me: "I'm afraid we can't do that ma'am... I'll talk to the kitchen."

Her: "Well... it's not just rare, it's kind of grainy too."

I kind of scoffed to myself and decided to move on. After all, I was almost done. My manager, the sous-chef, and I all had a quick chat about the incident, and recapped the situation. We got the lady another steak, and I... THANK GOD... went home. Haha.

Your circus called...

THEY WANT THEIR FREAK SHOW BACK!

The restaurant just opened. The host was starting to seat the sections, one by one. The goal being to give every server a table at the beginning of the day. I come around the corner and see that he had skipped me in the rotation.

I wasn't too worried, since I wasn't even in the mood to be at work in the first place. I look over at the table that would have been mine, if the seating order were followed. It was a pleasant surprise.

"Oh wow. Thank you SO MUCH for not giving those people to me." The host look at me with some confusion. I'm sure he was trying to decipher my sincerity from possible sarcasm. I confirmed that I was serious. "I waited on that lady the other day... she's a high maintenance freak show. A freak show that belongs in the big top."

The waitress that had the section started to walk by he and I on the way to that table. "Hey ______, that lady sucks. Good luck." She laughed and kept going. We watched her greet the table, then went back to our idle chatter.

A few minutes into our trivial chat, she comes back, laughing... but trying to hide it from the table she just left.

"So... can you say creepy?" The host and I look at each other and chuckle. I ask, "What happened?" She shakes her head "She orders with awkward eye contact!" The waitress reenacts the encounter by positioning herself to our right. Her head looks straight forward and her eyes shift to the left straining to see us. She starts to order, mimicking the custy.

She resumes her normal demeanor, as she ends the reenactment. "As she finished her creepy order, she asks for a side plate for her salad. Her husband then gives me the same creepy, side-eye look! Then nods, as if to say 'yeah... side plate.'"

I scoff. "Wow... have fun with that." She rolls her eyes, and takes off to enter their order into the computer. Minutes later we meet up by the expo window (this is the window between the kitchen and the service floor. Finished food is put up for servers to deliver to their tables). She looked displeased, "Remind me to never wait on that lady again!" She continues with more detail of torture from the freak show.

I give silent thanks as I head out to my tables. I had a good day waiting that day. My heart went out the other server.

Thank you guys!

Restaurant Rage Thanks You

I thought this post may be a little premature.... but after a little thought, I decided it's never to soon to say Thank You. I want to thank those that have become members of this blog and made it more than just a place in cyber space where I come to rant.

I thought I'd give a shout out and some link love to you guys! To all the other Restaurant Ragers! Especially to The Banquet Manager. Who was gracious and showed me equal love. Thank you Banquet Manager!

The Banquet Manager

You were the first to really comment on this blog. Your comment frequency increased and I knew you were actually checking back. Then, I got a shout out from you on a post. Thank you so much for participating on this blog. Your readership is appreciated.

The Banquet Manager chronicles his escapades with the banquet business. Employee mishaps, unreal brides, vendors, and much more. Make sure to stop by.

The Notorious O.S.C

From SF, a funny blogger. Great stories. He was the second to comment here. Shout out to you Notorious! Make sure to stop by his blog at http://thenotoriousosc.wordpress.com/. Mis-Adventures in the 415. Ramblings of a thirtysomething concierge.

Food Service Ninja

Classic stories! I love this blog and happy you stopped in Ninja! Thanks a ton. MAKE SURE TO READ HIS BLOG!

PurpleGirl

The Only-Slightly Cranky Waitress! Excellent blog of Restaurant Rage stories. Just recently found this one and already love. Visit it. Love it.

MikeTheWaiter

Looks like Mike is making the move over to blogger. This link should work soon. Keep an eye out for Mike. He's a frequenter on a lot of food service blogs. I can't wait to see what he has in store.

One Moment Please!

Restaurant Rage

Today's post isn't actually one of my rants, believe it or not. It comes from one of my coworkers. He was a bit rage filled today, thanks to the 3 day weekend the rest of the world has off.

He's usually a pretty cool headed guy (I mentioned him in my last post, he uses the term "alrighty" like I do). Today however, it seemed as if the whole world was prodding at him... much the way a small child would take a stick and poke at a dead cat for an hour. Just poking... and poking.

I was waiting on knuckle headed tourists today. I spent half my time waiting, and half fielding questions about the restaurant's history, retail products, the town, and local events. I had my hands full and people were just being impatient in general. Everyone who is in the industry knows what a joy it can be to wait on impatient people.

Well, when I am caught up in my own little busy world, I seldom take the time to think about how other coworkers are probably having the same head aches I am (unless, I am running their food, or dropping drinks for them, helping to get them out of the weeds, etc). I notice even less when the host stand is slammed.

Today we were deep on the waiting list, and the host stand was packed. My coworkers were busy busing tables, and unfortunately cleaning up my dishes and glassware (which I am usually anal about) that should have already been pre-bussed by yours truly.

As the rush was dissipating, the coworker in question greeted one of our last five tops on the wait. He explained to them it'd just be a moment for him to finish setting their table up, and he'd be back to seat them. He also briefly explained that he was headed over to wipe the table down and clear the remaining dishes. He strolled over with towel in hand... loads the dishes onto the tray... wipes the table... turns around... and is face to face with five eager and worried looking people.

This is probably the straw that broke the camel's back for him. Moments later we meet up at the back of the restaurant (him carrying dishes to the kitchen, me picking up drinks). He stops me.

Him: "Have fun with table 25! They are the umpteenth table that can't fucking listen!"

Me: "Ha ha! What the hell happened?"

Him: "Oh you know... I greet them, tell them I'll be right back to seat them, ask them TO PLEASE WAIT! So... I go over start busing the table, and what the fuck do I turn around to? Five idiots, who followed me to the table, and stood there while I cleaned it!"

Me: "Oh, I hate that."

Him: "Yeah, at least this shit-show is almost over."

His last comment means that our shift was ending. The night crew was about 20 minutes from coming onto the floor. It wouldn't be a moment too soon either, from the day we were all having. We were thankful to have relief.

Maybe we should get the words "One Moment Please," on the backs of our work shirts. This way when the table busing is happening or when the server is with another table, the shirt should say it all. Although... we know that no one reads the menu... so what would make me think they would even bother to read a shirt? It's a vicious cycle.

(All rights and credit of the above image belong to:http://www.everystockphoto.com/photo.php?imageId=1121428)

Is that one better?

Restaurant Rage!

This post was actually inspired by one of my other favorite blogs. It was a post entitled "Martinis and bullshit," by the Insane Waiter. I read this one and laughed, because this has happened a lot to me. I pulled this one from memory. Make sure to check out the Insane Waiter.

Diet Pepsi


It was a typical Sunday, a busy lunch rush. The crowd consisted of cheap after church goers and old people who are impossible to please (they always are!). A big top is seated in my section, I hurry over to greet them, and get them started. I make sure to efficiently work my way through this table so it doesn't slow down my section. I get their drink order and put it in. Then I'm off to tend to my other tables.



Moments later, I head back to the table. I had just retrieved their drinks from the bar and I begun dropping them off. As I work my way around the table, one lady says "Oh... this Diet Pepsi is flat." A little irritated, I apologize and grab the drink back from her. I don't want to ruin my timing for my section, and this is how it always starts. No big deal, I just need to get a new one, and it'll be fine. I'll lose a minute, but it's OK.

I rush over to the bar. After a moment of trying to get the bartender's attention, he spots me. He finishes up with the current customer and comes over. He asks, "what's up?" I explain that the lady told me that the diet Pepsi was flat and would like a new one. "It always pours that way. I don't know why, but we do get complaints about the diet from time to time. I'll pour it again, but it'll be the same." He pours the new drink, hands it to me with a half smirk, and I'm off.

"Alrighty (a stupid word another co-worker and I use when schmoozing), try this one out."

Her: "Um... no, that's not much better."
Me: "I'm terribly sorry, let me try that again" (I'm not sorry at all, I'm annoyed... oh well).
Her: (awkward look) "Good idea."
Me: "..." (biting lip)

I return once again to the bar. He looks at me, and shakes his head. I don't want to bug him again. I stand there for a minute, my time is starting to slip. I half shrug at him, he answers in kind. I pull the straw from the drink, grab a new one, and return.

Me: "Let's try this one more time." (I hand her the same exact drink)
Her: (Trying the drink) "That's a little..."
Me: "Is that one better?"
Her: "Yes, that's a lot better. Thank you."

Wow....